Every Wednesday Madison Woods posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you. then post your work on your blog. additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her friday fictioneers post.
I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you. give it a shot. i prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way. not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.
here’s this week’s picture and my 100 words -
.
.
.
“What’s it say?”
“It’s kinda weird.”
Broke ankle days back. Crawled best I can. Whoever finds this, tell my kids I love them they in my thoughts until end sun settn. probly no survvv antoher nigt ccold Jus wiss I lisstn to th guid tol me t pok stik in snow ahed o me alll ma lov to mom to
som one coomin now. Wow. Lights so bright. Oh how beautiful. Good bye. Love and bless you all. They’re waiting.
“Shame he couldn’t stand and see the camp ahead. Mighta given him hope to keep going.”
“Don’t worry. He’s okay.”
________________________
100 words
To clarify, the man is definitely okay? Very good job. Agree, it’s hard to find the time to revise, edit etc to make it fit. I failed on the word count this week as only had my lunch break to complete it.
http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-mother-of-the-universe/
the suggestion is that he died and someone from the afterlife was coming for him. thus “okay”
Hmmm … I’m think I would have preferred 100 italics words … thus a tragic ending.
was going to do that originally, but i was done at about 70 words and didn’t know what else to add, would have been rambling, and then thought it would be interesting if someone found the note, and he was so close to getting help.
Ah ha … I actually thought that you wrote that first, then needed more words, so you built around it.
zzzactly right.
I’m a bit confused as to why his writing gets jumbled then suddenly better at the end of the note. Perhaps I’m just not understanding it correctly, but to me it would have made more sense to turn into something completely illegible. I liked the idea though.
when it got more clear, he said he saw a bright light and something beautiful. he was dying, and someone or something from the afterlife was coming for him, thus he was regaining some consciousness as that person/being approached.
That’s what I figured you were going for, it just didn’t resonate with me. That’s not a knock on your story or anything. Just saying I would have gone a different direction.
if we don’t go in different directions, it wouldn’t be very creative and reading them all would get boring after about three.
Very true. Different directions are a wonderful thing.
i did some editing. maybe it’s more clear now. i think i saw something that was causing confusion. thanks for the questions because it’s valuable feedback.
I’m assuming he didn’t make. Poor chap. I liked how you showed the progression of his, what I’m assuming is, delirium in the missive that he left.
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/the-beautiful-hush/
Very nice….I wonder how you can come up with such creativity. Well done sir!
thanks. i usually come up with things by saying, “what interesting things can happen here?”
Love the juxtaposition…
thanks. that’s not a word you hear every day. i remember when i first heard it, a college film class, and the guy had a french accent. was funny and i never let it go.
Very effective piece of writing. Loved the note and the calmness of the character who says he’s okay. Interesting because not everyone would have that reaction to death. Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/06/01/payback/
loved it ,you just know how to tease and please your readers
every Friday i wait for this
your ff’s will make such a great book of short stories
you.are.adorable.thank.you.so.much.
Oh O so when one posts comments from mobile gravatar doesnt work…..
i am not sure how that works.
Oh i was just trying to post my comment from mobile and i logged in so thought my gravatar will show,but that first comment there is a blank space instead of the image
but we all know how wonderful you look anyway.
whoever finds tis tell Rich anthr on of urs enjoyd I much. thanks Rich. smiley face.
http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/chads-little-nuggets-of-information/
that was great. and thanks.
I am amazed he was able to find something to write with. I can never find a piece of paper or pen when I need them the most! Enjoyed reading. Happy Friday
yeah, about that, not really sure how to explain that. grrr. thanks!
I thought he wrote it on his mobile!
not impossible.
sad. one more day and he might have survived. writing a note about his own death experience was a great concept. I tried it for the first time.
my link: http://karmicdiva.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-530-via-madison-woods/
I totally want to try this out. Thank you
nothing to thank me for. have fun with it.
Very fine writing, Rich. I love teh guy’s two writing styles, one depicting him dying and almost incoherent, his mind in agony, and then with the clear light illuminating his mind, he becomes lucid in thougts and writing. Incidentally, on her death bed, my mother-in-law cried out that she saw a bright light and her long dead mother beckoning. These things do happen. Well done. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/fridayfictioneers-my-pilot/
Oh the irony..
Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-4/
Well done. Sad, but well done. I like how the second speaker states that he’s OK. Very good stuff, as always. Here’s mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/
Dear Rich,
Your story held me right to the end, and what an end. I felt I understood exactly what was happening and your response to comments lets me know I was following where you led.
There is something deap seated in the human psyche concerning ‘crossing over’ to use an over worked but applicable phrase. You tapped that vein for some ‘Rich’ ore. Well done and hey, sorry I took so long to get here. You are one of my must reads in this growing group of writers.
Aloha,
Doug
oh no need to apologize. it’s about 1:30 am where i am, and i’m reading them all now. thanks for the kind words.
Damn, this little story really did hit the spot Rich. My Mum had that short moment of clarity and even ate ice-cream so I didn’t find the writing change discordant at all. Just lovely.
And a lovely comment. Thanks.
The bright light, angel of death comes to escort him across the tide that divides mortality from eternity? We all want to assume that he is in a better place, thus he is ok? At least this is what I gleaned from the story. I liked that you changed his consciousness level from his mortal mind to the immortal…..
not sure what my beliefs are on the subject, but that’s what i was going for.
I believe our instincts, or at least mine, tell me that there is more. I was raised that way too, believing is the easy part, living it a bit challenging….
It’s natural to want or believe there is more. But that’s as far as it goes. Until it happens, it’s impossible to be sure.
Very cool, I like the how you had the “letter” done in a state of panic/distress, and then once the light comes the writer is more lucid and confident. Only thing: because you never mentioned/hinted at the presence of an actual dead body, my first instinct was actually that he was abducted by aliens, and the beautiful light was their ship. Just something to think about.
no reason it can’t be that.
For me, there was the desperation, the acceptance, the coming of Death and then, and don’t hate me, the comic moment of a rescue team hauling the unconscious bastard on to the camp he couldn’t see while he was suffering. That’s just where my head went, mind you, and it enjoyed the trip.
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/690/
hate you? no, that was the point. one guy was thinking “poor bastard, just missed the camp” and the other guy was thinking, “Nah, he’s in a better place.”
LIke the breakdown of language as his situation deteriorates and the return as he sees the Light! I also thought he was being rescued at first, but then he could have been. These guys don’t really know what happened to him. Seems to have many viable interpretations. Good read!
Forgot to drop my link: http://moniqueshante.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-relief-6-1-12week-2/
some like aliens. some like a “heavenly” rescue. either way, i’m good.
So, we were both into notes left by stranded people this week. How strange! I didn’t know whether it was a search party with the lights, or something from Space. Having stopped my comment to look at the others, I see that both of my ideas are wrong. Of course, I have to say that the idea of someone writing a note was absolutely brilliant. Obviously.
both of your ideas are not wrong. it could easily have been something from space. or it could have been something “heavenly.” so you are just as right as anyone can be.
LOL. Nice. Glad he made it out okay—they usually don’t!
yeah, they usually don’t.
at least he made it out okay! I expected him not to.
okay is a matter of opinion. to the athiest, not so much. to a believer is afterlife, he’s doing great.
I enjoyed how you can measure the life force remaining by the lucidity of language. Nicely done, Rich.
http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/flash-fiction-friday-an-addiction/
Great thanks.
Oh yeah, he’s ok, better than most of us…
Loved it.