#fridayfictioneers 6/15 via madison woods

Every Wednesday Madison Woods posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you.  then post your work on your blog.  additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her friday fictioneers post.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  give it a shot.  i prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

For the past few weeks, I seem to have gotten away from the horror thing.  I could have easily gotten nasty with this one, but it felt redundant.  Oh well.

Here’s this week’s picture and my 100 words -

 

Six hours, complete darkness, a cold night.  Two Allied soldiers lay silent, motionless in shrubs aside an uphill trail.  The sun teased the horizon.  Whispers began.

“See anything?”

“No.”

“Captain said find a sign along the trail.”

“Should we go up or down?”

“Dunno.  Wrong way gets us killed.”

“Dammit.”  Head shake.  Neck rub.  “Krauts can be anywhere.”

Eyes widened.  Heads turned alertly.  A bird fluttered from its nest searching for breakfast.

“What’s that?”

“Bird?”

“No.  The white thing on the tree.  Maybe it’s the sign.”

One crawled forward, neck craned, crawled back.

“What’s it say?”

“Made in Japan.”

“Bastards.”

___________________________

100 words

 

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75 thoughts on “#fridayfictioneers 6/15 via madison woods

  1. Very interesting!Funny how we all can view things so differently. I walk on nature trails that look very similar to the picture.So my first thoughts when I saw it were of nature,peace and tranquility.Maybe I will be brave enough to give this one a shot!
    Happy Friday

  2. LOVE it. and you didn’t mention one of my favs….Bridge Over River Kwai….classic, as all the ones you did mention.

  3. Fantastic tension, and then the release, which got an unholy sound from me because I wasn’t expecting to laugh.

    • i had originally said “american” soldier, but changed it because i specifically wanted WWII, as you said. then again, i have to hope readers know who the “Allies” were. some might not be old enough.

    • i have my blog set so that comments do not appear automatically because i have had unfriendly people post unfriendly things. i don’t mean disagreeing comments. i mean just rude, nasty things. so once someone has commented and i’ve approved it, then all further comments should go up immediately. just not the first one.

  4. Funny. Which is odd, because something deep down inside me says that it shouldn’t be.

    I took ages to get here today because I thought that you would be on The List, but you weren’t. So, 59 people later, I finally got here! Sorry about that!

  5. Apparently not as that one shows. Trying again. Nice economy of words to create mood and give setting. I had assumed the anachronism at the end was deliberate to suggest a reenactment !

    • that sentence was edited more than any other. i had written things like “the sun peeked over the horizon.” and then replaced “peeked” several times until i realized i was wasting a word with “over.” but i couldn’t write “the sun peeked the horizon,” so i needed to keep searching. i’m glad that caught your attention.

  6. The tension was palpable and held until the very last word, then popped like a balloon. Nice job. Glad you found the right word in “teased.” That sentence is golden.
    Thanks for commenting on mine.

  7. I liked the twist at the end but more than that I liked the sparse writing, especially this sentence: ““Dammit.” Head shake. Neck rub. “Krauts can be anywhere.” ” and how it added to the tension of being lost.

    I also like war movies. A list of favorites would be too long, but two of my favorites are Bataan and Battleground.

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