Every Wednesday Rachel Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you. Then post your work on your blog. additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her Friday Fictioneers post.
I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you. Give it a shot. I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way. Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.
The Hunger
“Now?”
“No.”
“How do you know?”
“They’re too close.”
One shuffled his feet. The other kept careful watch.
“Now?”
“No.”
“But I’m hungry.”
“I don’t care.”
One scratched his head. The other kept careful watch.
“How much longer?”
“Until they leave.”
“What if they never leave?”
“Give ‘em time.”
“They haven’t left yet.”
“They will.”
One craned his neck. The other kept careful watch.
“I’m going anyway.”
“They haven’t left yet.”
“They won’t notice. We’re little.”
“I wouldn’t.”
One made a run for the sweet sugar as a thumb reached down and crushed him. The other kept careful watch.
__________________________
100 words
Very original, Rich. Bugs? Flies? I like to imagine little elves. I enjoyed this.
was thinking ants
Ah, ants work well. They’re always keeping watch of each other.
and watching us too…lil bastards.
And our food…and then those lil bastards get smashed. Poor little anties.
Until the end, this reminded me of some friends of mine in college. We went to Pizza Hut one day and were hungry while waiting for our pizza. There was a couple nearby who was in the last stages of getting ready to leave and obviously not planning to take the rest of their pizza with them. Roy went over and inquired, “Are you going to eat that?” A bit taken aback, they said no. He said, “Can we have it?” We had something to eat while we waited, but no one got crushed!
I agree that this was original. I, too, am curious. Ants come to mind but that’s rather prosaic, so I’m imagining something more fantastic and fun.
i like fun. thanks for reading.
ANTS!!! Very funny… I couldn’t wait till the end to see what was going on. So clever, Rich!
thanks sir.
Hi Rich,
I was thinking cockroaches. I guess I’ve been in too many cheap cafes. Great dialog. You have a real ear for speech. Now I must crawl off to the kitchen and look for crumbs. Bug you later! Ron
you never bug me, sir. you keep all of us going.
Haha! From a bug’s view. Love it.
thanks miss.
Welcome sir.
I’m thinking ants right?!? Because of the sugar…brilliant, original, and very well done.
And another ant gets squashed…
That was terrific.
Ants!
Very unique Rich! Like the way you repeat one kept a careful watch. The one who was so “antsy” perhaps deserved the end. Haha.
nice work!
The lines about shuffling and scratching are right on. Seems like ants are always moving and rubbing their antennae together. I like the conversation too-it flowed well. Too bad for the impatient one though!
Love the end! Poor little ant
that’s what happens when you don’t listen. thanks miss.
Great! Loved the repetition and immediately thought ants after the ‘reveal’. Nice work Rich.
thanks miss. i like repetition but sometimes i overdo it.
Dear Rich,
I love the way the conversation between the ants unfolded. At first I thought of two kids outside, one having to pee and being unable to wait, and the other willing to watch for him. Then realization came slamming down as i read on. Nice work and full of impact.
Aloha,
Doug
thanks very much sir. i’m glad it worked.
Great story, well done! And thanks for sharing the fridayfictioneers, I look forward to joining in next week!
they welcome you being there very much. join together with the band.
Cheers to your creativity that had me scratching my head!
thanks for the cheers and the scratches.
terrific Rich
thanks very much.
Perfect! Nothing more need be said.
that’s a big word. much appreciated.
Hi Rich,
I’ve tagged you at my blog for the “Look Challenge”. You can check out the details there. Hope you have fun with it. Ron
Will certainly check it out. I’ve heard about it. Thanks for thinking of me.
Rich,
I enjoy your work every week but this one has to be my favorite so far. The dialogue was right on and it kept me wondering what the hell are these two doing….Sweet!
Tom
Sweet. Like the sugar they sought. Thanks for reading.
It’s a bug’s life, I tell ya’. Fantastic dialogue!
Much thanks, miss.
This one made me smile, Rich. Ants! How very clever. You had me thinking two people looking out for “them” until the end. Very creative.
Thanks miss. Oddly there’s a 50′s b-movie about giant ants called “them.”
good twist. Can’t rely on that exoskeleton against a big thumb.
At first I thought it was someone who didn’t want to go into the same restaurant as their “ex”
ooh, i’ve had that happen. my ex lives about 1 minute away. thanks for reading.
Haha, fantastic. I first thought maybe it was the sugar and salt talking and had images of Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper and their baby Paprika from Blue’s Clues. Ants are much more realistic though. Fun idea. Perhaps I’ll go for a 100 word attempt next week.
i hope you do give it a try.
Love the ants, Rich. Will the cautious one ever get his sugar hit?
Certainly will.
So cute. Reminds me when we “the kids” used to wait for dinner at Grandma’s to be done so we could steal the sugared lemon drops out of the tea glasses. Gross to think of that now.
Sweet thoughts.
Cool, nice dialogue, was not expecting ants but something much more sinister.
sometimes i set up the sinister that turns out to be just something small. and sometimes it’s reversed. like this one.
http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-518-via-madison-woods/