#fridayfictioneers via rachel – 10/26

Every Wednesday Rachel Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you.  Then post your work on your blog.  additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her Friday Fictioneers post.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  Give it a shot.  I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

 

The Hunger

“Now?”

“No.”

“How do you know?”

“They’re too close.”

One shuffled his feet.  The other kept careful watch.

“Now?”

“No.”

“But I’m hungry.”

“I don’t care.”

One scratched his head.  The other kept careful watch.

“How much longer?”

“Until they leave.”

“What if they never leave?”

“Give ‘em time.”

“They haven’t left yet.”

“They will.”

One craned his neck.  The other kept careful watch.

“I’m going anyway.”

“They haven’t left yet.”

“They won’t notice.  We’re little.”

“I wouldn’t.”

One made a run for the sweet sugar as a thumb reached down and crushed him.  The other kept careful watch.

__________________________

100 words

53 thoughts on “#fridayfictioneers via rachel – 10/26

  1. Until the end, this reminded me of some friends of mine in college. We went to Pizza Hut one day and were hungry while waiting for our pizza. There was a couple nearby who was in the last stages of getting ready to leave and obviously not planning to take the rest of their pizza with them. Roy went over and inquired, “Are you going to eat that?” A bit taken aback, they said no. He said, “Can we have it?” We had something to eat while we waited, but no one got crushed!

    I agree that this was original. I, too, am curious. Ants come to mind but that’s rather prosaic, so I’m imagining something more fantastic and fun.

  2. The lines about shuffling and scratching are right on. Seems like ants are always moving and rubbing their antennae together. I like the conversation too-it flowed well. Too bad for the impatient one though!

  3. Dear Rich,

    I love the way the conversation between the ants unfolded. At first I thought of two kids outside, one having to pee and being unable to wait, and the other willing to watch for him. Then realization came slamming down as i read on. Nice work and full of impact.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  4. Rich,
    I enjoy your work every week but this one has to be my favorite so far. The dialogue was right on and it kept me wondering what the hell are these two doing….Sweet!
    Tom

  5. good twist. Can’t rely on that exoskeleton against a big thumb.

    At first I thought it was someone who didn’t want to go into the same restaurant as their “ex”

  6. Haha, fantastic. I first thought maybe it was the sugar and salt talking and had images of Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper and their baby Paprika from Blue’s Clues. Ants are much more realistic though. Fun idea. Perhaps I’ll go for a 100 word attempt next week. :)

  7. So cute. Reminds me when we “the kids” used to wait for dinner at Grandma’s to be done so we could steal the sugared lemon drops out of the tea glasses. Gross to think of that now.

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