#fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 12/07

Every Wednesday Rothschild Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you.  Then post your work on your blog.  additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her Friday Fictioneers post.

Oooh, look.  She used my picture.  Cool.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  Give it a shot.  I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

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Two men in labcoats peered through the window of a locked, padded room. A man struggled against his bonds.  Dr. Martin browsed notes.

“What’s his story?”

Dr. Faust flicked ashes, adjusted horn-rimmed glasses.  “Breaking and entering.  Theft.  People home usually.  Brazen bastard.”

“How’d they catch him?”

“Doesn’t say.  In, out, like a ghost.”

“What’d he steal?”

“Food.”

“Why not shoplift?  Week in jail sure beats here.”

“He knew it was wrong.  Felt guilty.  Had no money.  Left things as repayment.”

“Like what?”

“Expensive things.  Eccentric fool.”

“Sedate him.”

As they paced down the hall, shadows awaited, antlers sharpened and ready.

__________________________

100 words

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120 Responses to #fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 12/07

  1. seriously–so good — I look forward to your 100 word stories every week and am never disappointed!

  2. Stellar as usual.

    Keep up the good work.

    Mephisto :-)

  3. Sandra says:

    A great take on the Christmas theme; you had me right up to the antlers. Nice one, and great photo too.

    • rich says:

      i wasn’t going to go christmas. i wanted to go “asylum.” then i wanted someone held against their will, unjustly. then christmas just crawled into it.

  4. Joyce says:

    OK, Rich. I got another question for you on this story, too. Is the man incarcerated a Santa? And the antlers those of his reindeer? If so, that is really a good one. I like it. That poor Santa got a bum deal and needs a whole team of kids and parents to come to his rescue. That is a good photo for the prompt, too. I haven’t done one yet. Got to think some more on my idea I’m swirling around in my head.

    • rich says:

      yes, you have it exactly. ideas in your head? sure that’s not a sugar plum? i try to read anyone else’s before i write mine because i might get a good idea but then see someone else had it too, and then i won’t write mine, even if it’s really good. but if i just happen to write something similar without knowing it, then that’s just an accident. a happy one.

      • Joyce says:

        I got it right then, Good. I can understand your way of writing these stories. Makes sense. That was a good photo for the prompt. Thanks, Rich. It inspired me for my own story, just posted a little while ago.

      • rich says:

        Terrific. Thanks. Looking forward to reading yours too.

  5. Oh….sooooo good, RIch. This brought a smile to my face. Along with the antlers, I see Rudoph packing extra batteries for his nose. Well done.
    ps: Thank you for this interesting photo.

  6. JKBradley says:

    no christmas this year? is this what faust gets for making his deal with the devil?

    how’d you make out with the hurricane?

  7. Tom Poet says:

    rich,
    Santa getting a busted what has happened to this world we live in? The poor guy. Great work as always.

    Tom

  8. R. E. Hunter says:

    Well done. I didn’t see it coming at all, then the antlers made it all fit together perfectly.

  9. Heidi says:

    Ha ha, took me awhile to get this one.

  10. wmqcolby says:

    Santa makes a killing tonight …
    Good stuff, Rich!

  11. What a twisted world we live in when poor old Kris Kringle gets nabbed from breaking and entering. I had to read this a couple of times before it hit me. Great fun! Ho! Ho! Ho!
    shalom,
    Rothschild

  12. I didn’t realize it was your picture. Cool! Poor Kris Kringle. He’s got a bad rap…very clever, Rich! These guys have no compassion at all. Sedate him!

  13. “People home usually.” change to: People’s home usually.

    All antler’s aside. You be hoofin’ with this story.
    Faust indeed

  14. Jan Brown says:

    Loved, loved, loved it! Absolutely loved it. Did I tell you I loved it?

    You are so damned clever.

    Merry, merry Christmas!
    Jan

  15. Very, very clever take on the prompt! Fooled me to the end and not a false note in it. Damn, where are my milk and cookies?

  16. [...] brought to you by our gracious host, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Today’s photo is provided by Rich Vosa. My 100 words comes to you as story. Initially, I went over with this one, so I did some cutting. The [...]

  17. Abraham says:

    It’s about to get grisly, no?
    Well done, Rich.

  18. [...] and growing group of writers in whose company I am grateful to be. The photo prompt is courtesy of Rich Vorza, or, as we like to call him, The Boss. The other stories are here. I dare you to check them [...]

  19. Great story. The antlers threw me for a second so I had to go back and reread it. I love stories that are a different take on things we’re familiar with.

  20. unspywriter says:

    Very good! Loved the sharpened antler line. Nice take on the prompt.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-purge/

  21. Rich ~ love that she used your pic ~ and I love the words you used, especially sharpened antlers ~ Also, I wanted you to know that I’ve nominated you for the Blog of the Year Award 2012 ~ I think you are amazing! You can find it at http://misifusa.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/i-feel-the-love-blog-of-the-year-2012-award/
    Hugs to you!

  22. elmowrites says:

    I hope those antler-ed shadows are going to stage a breakout – I’ve got a kid now, I need that eccentric fool to break into my house later this month!
    Great picture – enjoy reading all the stories it prompts.

  23. [...] I scrolled down and discovered a second picture, this time courtesy of Rich Voza. Makes for a different story, I can assure you. So, with apologies to Ted, and to [...]

  24. Well done Rich. Yes a week in jail would of been much better. Great picture thanks for sharing it.

  25. Hi Rich,
    Always interesting to see what the photographer will write about his own photo. By the way, now that I know your last name, I found your photo on smashwords and I have a face to go with the words.
    Now, as to the story. Are you implying that Santa is some kind of evil monster, using reindeer horns to inflict torture? You are? Great!
    Ron

    • rich says:

      well, thanks, and moreso i was suggesting that santa was arrested, thought of as a nut, held against his will in a psych ward. now the reindeer are coming to his rescue. with attitude.

  26. Pete says:

    Excellent Christmas story. I love the idea of the reindeer lying in wait in the shadows. Good one.

  27. Am loving the snow flakes on your site! Wow. Great story, never trust anyone called Dr Faust. Killer reindeer, I like it. Rudolph, the red-nosed avenger.

  28. JackieP says:

    oh yeah! the ending got me going. Really enjoyed this. Sharpened antlers at that! :-)

  29. He manages to steal enough cookies and milk to stay pretty plump, amirite? And I love the final sentence. This isn’t going to turn out exactly the way these doctors expect!

  30. Anne Orchard says:

    I must be a bit dense today, it took the comments to enlighten me. Very clever, Rich.

  31. Hahaha! Very nice. Loved it up to the antlers. Loved it more after!

  32. Debra Kristi says:

    I’ve only just started reading but I imagine this will be a hard story to try and top. Fabulous! Just fabulous! I can see the whole thing playing out in my head and already think you have the next big Christmas movie on your hands. You just need to expand on the idea a bit. ;)

  33. brudberg says:

    Ho, ho will be free in no time, those antlers will take out anyone. I looked forward how you would handle your own picture, and you did a great job.

  34. Russell says:

    I’ve tried leaving beer and pretzels out for him, but then I get up to pee and need a snack. It wouldn’t do for him to have gas when sliding down all those chimneys. Perhaps that explains all those house fires at Christmas.

  35. aFrankAngle says:

    My first thought as the psych ward … but then it hit me … Santa!

  36. claudia says:

    Very creative and clever twist here that you got from the prompt.

  37. billgncs says:

    they had to sedate him to keep him from being an adversarial clause ?

  38. erinleary says:

    Somewhere, Virginia is crying…..

    Thanks for the photo. After some technical difficulties, my link is posted.

  39. H.L. Pauff says:

    Very cool Rich. Santa is pretty crazy when you step back and think about it.

  40. Like the terseness of this

  41. Hello Rich, just to say “thank you” for telling us (Maria Thermann) and myself, how to put snow on our blogs.

  42. Parul says:

    He took the highway to hell!
    Clever work

  43. vb holmes says:

    Poor Santa–with all the challenges he faces on his one big night of the year, it doesn’t seem fair to add a pair of butterfly-net wielding doctors. Glad the reindeer are in the wings to spring him. Your photo, by the way, is a great visual–talk about multi-layered….

  44. Bwah ha ha ! (Start of a great horror show…well B anyway)
    Scott
    Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2012/12/08/friday-fictioneers-9/

  45. [...] directions, but for now 100 words inspired by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ image of choice (thank you Rich Vosa) is what I have to offer. [...]

  46. Well, Rich,

    i’m probably going to be the last one wandering down the hall in the place where you bagged Santa. I like to leave the best for last in my linkything pressing and reading and I’m glad I did. It’s great when you paint a picture that ‘everyone’ can see once you stab them in the eye with an antler. I’m one of those happily wandering around trying to stop the bleeding (and laughing).

    Great good job on this one. Are you presently a resident of New Jersey (my long ago home state [that i escaped from in the last story])?

    In one of my comments on someones story somewhere I told the author to be thankful that you were investing time and energy toward ways to cut words and otherwise edit their efforts. Rothschild pointed out that I might have sounded as though i meant it in a mean (my words) way and I want you to know that I don’t. On the contrary, I think it is admirable the way you spend a lot of time and effort to give such good feedback. You’re a priceless asset to the group as a whole. Or, to shorten that sentence for Friday Fictioneers, you’re an priceless asshole. Go figure.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • rich says:

      i occasionally hesitate to give feedback to people because you just never know how it’s going to be accepted. I used to contribute a lot to a literary site called pikerpress.com and they have a place for comments. i would often leave comments about suggestions for word choice, punctuation errors, grammar fix-ups, etc. then i started getting nastily attacked by people who only wanted to hear “great job!” and nothing else. for about 6 months i was called way worse than “asshole,” so they disabled the comments area. then they brought it back but the administrator must approve the comments. then i just gave up taking part at all and no longer contribute any of my work to their site. that’s when i started spending a lot more time on wordpress. there’s always a right and wrong way to give constructive criticism, but even if you write it perfectly, there will be people who just don’t want to hear anything other than “great job.” my point of view is that i will always appreciate the idea of someone caring enough to read with the intent of wanting to help, even if it’s not worded perfectly.

      so, being called an asshole is a good day for me, especially (yes) living in NJ. i was born up north, within walking distance of giants stadium, 5 miles from the lincoln tunnel. after 25 years up north, i then spent the next 25 years in southern NJ. i split time between a small island town – Brigantine – immediately north of atlantic city, and another small town – Pitman – in gloucester county, very close to Philly.

      where were you in NJ before you escaped?

  47. Evil B’s. Well we know where he is and I myself have a suspicion now as to his following ‘Treatment’. Very good story.

  48. Paul says:

    Mea culpa, mea culpa. How did I miss this? It’s great. It could be another version of my story, or mine could be another version of yours. Either way, I like it. Drs. Martin and Faust. I was trying to come up with some kind of literary allusion but decided the names were random. OK, so it only took me one week to comment. That’s not so bad! Well, now I know why Santa won’t be visiting my household this Christmas. I knew it wasn’t because I was bad. I was no worse this year than usual!

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