#fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 12/21

Every Wednesday Ralphie Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you.  After you post your work on your blog,  go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry on her Friday Fictioneers post.  Place.  Page.

I could not add revisions this week because I had too many things to do today and didn’t have the time to color-code and underline and such.  I wasn’t even sure if i would even write this until late tonight or tomorrow morning.  For those who liked the revisions, sorry.  For those who did not like it, Happy Holidays.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  Give it a shot.  I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

copyright-scott-l-vannatter

Midnight

Neither moved.

One knew the other.

One – a mysterious, great beast.

Both calculated in milliseconds.

“If I move…”

“What if he tries…?”

Cat – fangs, silent speed.

Beast – far slower, but massive, stronger.

Both – fur, claws.

Both – eyes they’d remember, next time.

Both – determined to reach morning.

Only one absolutely had to get past the other.

Beast slowly extended his arm.

Cat hissed, tail tucked, ears pinned, feet planted, ready.

Cat squinted, focused.

The great beast’s gentle paw, Claus revealed, stroked cat’s head, spine.  Flashing an Elfin smile, the great beast moved past and began his jolly work.

________________________

100 words

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87 Responses to #fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 12/21

  1. Tin Woman says:

    I absolutely loved this! Such a tender twist at the end.

  2. Sandra says:

    Suberb, Rich. Loved it.

  3. Yup, worth waiting for. I like seeing this side of your writing.

    • rich says:

      thanks, miss. this side? meaning not the “rise and fall of me” stuff?

      • The softer, lighter side. I was really thinking of Fictioneers writing. As far as the rise and fall writing, I don’t like seeing it merely because I don’t like knowing you and your family had to live through all that.

      • rich says:

        aww, that’s nice, thanks. and yeah, about the FF stuff, in the beginning i was heavy on horror-style things. but i decided to tune the december ones into a christmas/winter holiday theme. thanks for noticing.

  4. Dear Rich,
    You’ve upped the paw on Santa stories. Quite entertaining.
    ShaLom,
    Ralphie

  5. as always- great but with a festive twist

  6. claireful says:

    I liked it very much, especially ‘Cat hissed, tail tucked, ears pinned, feet planted, ready’

  7. Tom Poet says:

    Rich,
    I like this side of you as well. Creative use of the prompt and perfect for the holidays. Great work….Happy Holidays!
    Tom

  8. JKBradley says:

    So, the clause did come out.

  9. Wonderful story, Rich. Very well done. You seem to be in the holiday spirit. Good for you.

  10. Hi Rich,
    Considering the date and the photo, a Christmas story is de riguer. Santa is a beast, a beast of burden. You kept me guessing, though, thinking it was some kind of hostile encounter, until the sweetly happy ending. Hope you holidays are festive and fun. Ron

    • rich says:

      Thanks. I just took the liberty to describe Santa as a beast because that’s how he might seem from the cats point of view. But I did not write it from the cats point of view. Maybe I should have.

      Happy Holidays to you and yours as well. And cats.

  11. tedstrutz says:

    Hope the Cat didn’t drink the Beast’s milk…

  12. Now I’m wondering how my Bambi would respond if the Beast entered her territory. Maybe I’ll invite him in to find out. Fun story, Rich.

  13. Excellently written. Love the twist.

  14. erinleary says:

    Love it – well told tale. You had me thinking evil and it was just a jolly old elf. Mine is here: http://wp.me/p1Wqon-dN

  15. I live with the cat from hell here, please send “great beast” to save me!

  16. Debra Kristi says:

    In the first few lines I was worried Santa might not make an apperance this time. Thank you for not dissapointing. This fits the story my daughter has had me reading almost every night. Fabulously fun! Great work, Rich.

  17. “Both – fur, claws” Ha! What a great mislead. I’ll be Santa has lots of scratches after millions of houses like that.

  18. 40again says:

    Nice tale Rich, very festive, like the “both – fur, claws”
    Was expecting something darker from you for some reason, so appreciate the lighter touch.
    Dee

    • rich says:

      i tend to enjoy writing darker things, and when i started this piece, it was supposed to be dark, but then something just changed as i was writing it. a few people have mentioned that they liked something less dark from me.

      but the idea that you have are “expecting” something from me is very nice. it suggests you know where to find something you like. thanks very much.

  19. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Rich,

    Whenever I read your stories I relax and go with the flow and never am I disappointed. Mark of a great storyteller. Can say no more for it would be redundant.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • rich says:

      but i will be redundant with my greatly appreciated thanks for your comments. and thanks again. i have some reading to begin too. the list has been growing little by little each week. i’ve recruited a few recently.

  20. unspywriter says:

    Yes, from the cat’s perspective we’re all beasts. Great interpretation.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/bah-humbug/

  21. Jan Brown says:

    Great story! Ho, ho, ho and Merry Christmas, Rich!

  22. Russell says:

    Dear Rich,
    I enjoyed this ghastly tale. Fortunately the beast stayed away from the cat’s Kibbles & Bits or a rumble might have occurred in the kitchen. Thanks for another great story from a master storyteller.

  23. brudberg says:

    Ha, that beast is always welcome despite his fur. :-)

  24. Joyce says:

    So cute. Santa wins every time. Hope the kitty remembers him next year. Since we have made it past the Mayan calender big ‘event’. :)

  25. elmowrites says:

    hahaha, like the Christmas link. Have a good one, Rich

  26. kz says:

    i thought there was gonna be some bloody cat fight lol ^^ but i do love the ending ^^ love the very detailed description of the cat as she prepares herself for battle ^^

  27. That one conjured up visions of a horror fest. I was waiting…great surprise.
    Scott
    Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2012/12/21/friday-fictioneers-11/

  28. yerpirate says:

    Yes, thought there’d be a real fight, but somehow I knew you would not disappoint ! Thanks!

  29. Perry Block says:

    Great little story and excellent use of dialogue, as always! Oh, sic him, kitty!

    • rich says:

      A smart guy who has been critiquing my writing lately told me to change the balance from less dialogue to more physical action. So I am working on that. Thanks very much for reading.

  30. tonyoleson says:

    Phenomenal sir, I like the way you created the standoff, but didn’t elude to who the “beast” was until the end. Made it very stressful to start and cheery to finish. Keep it up!

  31. H.L. Pauff says:

    I hope the Big Guy brought a present. Like some of the others, I fell for the misdirection. Great writing

  32. mari wells says:

    Great story. I thought a battle would end them both.

  33. wmqcolby says:

    Hey, that was fun! Nice work there, Rich! Reads like something maybe kids would like to read.

  34. vyvacious says:

    I talk so damn much I don’t think I could ever get something down to 100 words – great job.

    Also, can you call me “mister” when you thank me? I like to be different than all the other misses.

  35. Sarah Ann says:

    Very clever. Great misdirection at the start. Really enjoyed the alternating lines spelling out each character.

  36. Abraham says:

    Nice! Expectation nicely built up.

    Santa thinks in milliseconds? :-)

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