Every Wednesday Rickety Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you. After you post your work on your blog, go back to her site and add a link to your post on her Friday Fictioneers post. Place. Page.
I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you. Give it a shot. I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way. Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.
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Phone Call
“Hello?” said a raspy growl, putting down crayons.
“Afternoon, Sir. I’m calling on behalf of-”
“Half of what?”
“Sir?”
“Half a sandwich?”
“No. On beHALF. I’m with the National Association-”
“Location? In the living room. Where are you?”
“No, Sir. I’m calling on be-. I’m calling for-. (exhale) We’re trying to raise money for-”
“Money? Sure. I’ll take some money. Whatcha got?”
“No, Sir. Would you like to donate-”
“I LOVE doughnuts!”
“Certainly, but children in town need-”
“Let ‘em get their own damn donuts!”
“No, Sir. I’m-”
From the kitchen. “Jimmy. Who’s on the phone?”
*click*
“Wrong number, Mom.”
________________________
100 words
brainsnorts inc. 
Hahaha, you got me cracked up…I enjoyed this!
thanks very much.
Hilarious! I loved this. Thanks for the morning chuckle.
glad to assist.
Who doesn’t love doughnuts?
you just alerted me that i spelled “donuts” wrong. i went with the “dunkin” spelling.
Oops. They never get anything right. Assholes.
i prefer douche.
Oh, very well. Douchecanoes. Better?
all good.
Woohoo!!
Now this one I enjoyed… lol
thanks.
Nightmare conversation… I must try this next time I’m being hounded on the phone.
give it a shot.
Is the old phone that’s faulty or the “old” hearing? Very funny piece with great dialogue, of course!
thanks, sir. it’s actually neither the phone nor the hearing. just a kid having fun with a telemarketer.
At first I thought you were taking the hearing impaired angle (as I did a couple weeks ago), but then you threw in the prankster at the end. My daughter and her cousin used to tell telemarketers that Mom is working on the truck and Dad is passed out in the floor drunk. They usually didn’t call back 🙂
yeah, prankster. i used to be one of those. thanks for reading.
LOLLLL!!!
Very funny, Rich.
Wasn’t sure if it was bad hearing or a prank, and i also wondered about ‘doughnut’ becoming ‘donut’
But I enjoyed it all the same.
thanks very much for reading. it was fun for me too.
I can’t wait till I get the next solicitor on the line….
Make sure you turn on the tape recorder.
This reminds me of my youth. Whenever an unfortunate telemarketer called, it was like hitting the comedy lottery.
“Hello, I’m conducting a survey about radio listening habits.”
“I’m sorry. My father is an intellectual. He reads books.”
“I’m an intellectual, too.”
“Really?”
I actually got that one to hang up on me. Perhaps it was less than kind, but golly, was it fun! 😉
More recently, while at my widowed mother’s house, I intercepted a call from a local charity that erroneously claimed she’d donated in the past. Mom and I both enjoyed my performance as a grieving widow. Not sure what the guy on the other end of the line thought…
Thanks for the trip down memory lane! 🙂
i would not have been quick enough to think of that. thanks for reading.
who’s writing these stories?
who keep sending me updates?
and who is this rich guy? I’d like some of his money?
Brain snorts? What means this?
Is it like bran flake? I like ’em with raisins?
Got any raisins?
it’s raining? i heard there’d be snow.
Hehe.. This took me down the memory lane. Been there done that.. Guilty! The best part some times my parents asked me to talk in hopes that finally they’ll be no calls again! 🙂
Such a fun take on the prompt. Enjoyed the playfulness and innocence in kid’s replies..
thanks for reading and having fun.
Hilarious! It’s tricky to write humour when you’re restricted to 100 words, sometimes dropping a single word stops it from being funny, but you did it brilliantly. I will definitely try passing the phone to my kids next time I get cold-called. 😀
brilliant? why thank you very much. i accept!
Dear Snitch,
Now that was one bright kid. Loved this piece and hate being called by telemarketers. I can be the queen of rude.
I’m also impressed that someone still knows how to spell doughnut. I used to work as a sign-maker. After making a sign for the bakery. A few days later I heard another employee laughingly tell another that someone misspelled “donut” on the sign.
Shalom,
Some days more Rickety than others.
i had originally written “donut” and meant to go back and change it, but i forgot. then someone mentioned it and i went back to fix it.
Sounded like an old man at first with his new hearing aids — “What kind is it?”
“Oh, it’s about 7:15.”
Rickety … now THAT”S funny!
Oh, yeah, the story is awesome! I LOVE interplay!
thanks very much. there was some confusion from early readers, so i went back and added the crayons, hoping that might help.
Loved it! Reminds me of kids calling and asking, “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” (Tobacco, for those who don’t know.) The next line, naturally, was “You should let him out” or something similar. There were other things like this, to. Pretty harmless fun.
kinda what i was thinking. thanks very much for reading.
Lol – I am laughing here! I know you didn’t give the age, but I want the son to be about 12 and a great impressionist.
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/01/17/friday-fictioneers-uncle-waldo-genre-humorous/
Scott
12 would be perfect. thanks for the link. i guess i should start reading too.
Incredible …. I just sat back and enjoyed this one with smiles on each line!
incredible. that’s a big word. tomorrow’s post i hope will also be incredible and a regular feature. my own horoscopes.
I can’t imagine your take on horoscopes.
in the spirit of “the onion.”
Good … they used to do them! … so you can fill the void.
SO and CR matching today. guess there’s no communication or coordination behind the set.
HLN!
excellent!
it seems that CR is wearing the same colors she wore yesterday. looks like exact same outfit, i remember thinking the shoes didn’t match and they were the same shoes too.
Haven’t tuned in yet …. but I usually don’t get to the shoes
that’s where i start.
I’m trying that next time!
nothing to lose. give it a shot.
Rich,
You are back on your game Brother!!!! The Holidays are over and all the cheer is here….LMAO! Reminds me of the old days…and I confess to messing with wrong numbers and telemarketers when they call me…as well as calling friends and telling them I am from Ireland and that we need help with cause and if they could send some money for guns and beer that would be grand!
Tom
thanks very much. we used to record our prank phone calls and re-live them in the car while driving around on friday and saturday nights. thanks for reading.
In the first line, you have the growl putting down crayons, but this is delightful in leading us down one path and giving us a different destination. Quite the clever boy and quite the way to handle a telemarketer.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/my-fair-clue/
yup. i did exactly that for exactly that reason. thanks. and i’m going to start reading as soon as i get my coffee.
hahahaha it was a fun read, awesome.. smart kid.lol
yes i a– i mean, yes he is. thanks for reading.
haha ^^
Very good. I wonder if I’ve got the courage to try it with my next spam call?
keep that mask on and you’ll have more courage. thanks for reading.
this is priceless, I need to give this script to my husband, he’d have a blast with the telemarketers! You’re on a roll this week, Loved the Zodiak post as well.
thanks very much for reading and enjoying. and good luck to him and his fun too.
Always good to start the day with a chuckle. Though I wonder what the children in town need…
not doughnuts, that’s for sure. thanks for reading.
Ha Ha. Very funny, Rich. Questions again here. Is Jimmy a boy or an ‘older’ man? The way I read this he is a rather hard of hearing cranky old guy with an attitude. But, how old is his ‘mom.’ 🙂 Or did I misinterpret the story? You sure live up to your blog name. Brainsnorts. I love that. 🙂
he’s a kid pretending to be an old man in order to “play” with the telemarketers. the clues were not strong enough at the beginning. glad for the “love”
OK. Gotcha. He is a clever rascal. But, probably will be one less telemarketer that will bother them. 🙂
that’s one way to stop ’em
Hi Rich,
I’m pretty sure this story was drawn from your juvenile history of using the phone to prank unwary people. Many good misunderstandings makes it funny. I had a small problem with “putting down crayons” and had to read it again because there’s nobody to attach to that clause, but after I’d read the entire story I understood the reference. Good deception. Thought this was an old man who was hard of hearing until the very end. Ron
thanks. i’m glad you caught the crayon reference. i admit, it isn’t a big enough clue, but it worked for you, so that’s good enough for me.
Loved this! Out of the mouth of babes. He did what many wish they could do, frustrate unwanted callers. Nicely done.
thanks very much. thanks for reading.
Reminds me of some fun I had with a telemarketer. I have the story on my blog. It was fun. This story was fun. It made me laugh. I’m glad you got happy with it. 🙂
thanks for reading. i remember one time when a telemarketer called just as i was helping someone to undress. i told the caller that they had the choice to either hang up or i would gladly put the phone down so they could listen. they hung up. their loss.
bwahahaha. I will have to remember that, course I would be lying, but hey they won’t know that! I almost spit my water out on this.
Spit? Cmon now.
ok ok, I swallowed. I cannot tell a lie
Loved it. Thanks for the laugh.
Sounds like a good advice. Reminds me of a friend who got called trying underwear (briefs), and he just said that he never wear briefs… The poor young girl had nothing to say and went all silent. 🙂
Okay, Rich. You fooled me with the “raspy growl” (I didn’t pay enough attention to “putting down crayons”) – I was picturing a grumpy, addled man in his eighties, not a kid approaching adolescence.
Jimmy, you brat.
that’s my boy! thanks.
Ha ha. Rich, you’re so delightfully funny. Good one. I love the innocence (except for the end). This kid is serious about donuts as he should be!
doughnuts are very serious, especially on sunday mornings.
This was fun and enjoyable:) Thank You!
No need to thank me. I need to thank you for reading.
Very funny. I really enjoyed. At first I thought the focus would be with a senior that had to deal with such calls. Some agencies target them hoping to get their commitment. Very well done!
thanks very much.
Hilarious. I really enjoyed that. 🙂
Unfortunately, the fun times no longer roll–the recorded message refuses to fall victim to one’s clever repartee.
Fun, fun, fun! I love that kid. Telemarketers shouldn’t be allowed to make cold calls. Just sayin’. You are fabulous with the witty banter.
and you are fabulous with your comments and observations! thanks for reading.
Fun!
thanks for reading.
🙂 …maybe the fun will continue as the youngster himself becomes a telemarketer & experiences his life- in reverse. –cool story. ❤
thanks very much. it could happen.