#fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 2/22

Every Wednesday Rundown Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt challenging writers to create a 100-word story, poem, or whatever works for you.  After posting your work on your blog,  go back to her site and add your link on her Friday Fictioneers post.  Place.  Page.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  Give it a shot.  I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

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 copyright-janet-webb

The Barn

Two children sit in a barn loft.

“Granpa Wilson demolishing this tomorrow,” he complains.

“Why?”

“Building a new one.”

“After all these years?” she whines.  “Where we gonna play?”

“I’m staying right here.  He don’t scare me.”

“He’s knocking it down ‘cause he hates us playing here.”

He drops from the loft.  “He don’t even know we’re here.”

Sure he knows,” she smiles.  “Hands shaking,” she mimics.  “Holding his gun when we get too loud.  Let him knock it down.  Ain’t chasing me away.”

Next morning, backhoes dig the foundation, then stop.

“Ho-ly Christ.”

“What’s that?”

“Bones.  Go get Wilson.”

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100 words

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137 thoughts on “#fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 2/22

  1. Nice! There’s so much the reader can interpret into it. I love the dialogue especially, the vernacular or local dialect. Great writing!

  2. I really didn’t see that coming. This has to be one of my favourite that I’ve ever read of yours Rich. Fantastic dialogue between the children, and the perfect last line.

  3. “Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones…” When Grandpa Wilson says he doesn’t like kids playing in the old barn, he means it. A question, were these supposed to be bones from other kids or the ones speaking in the beginning? Sorry if I’m the dense one here. I am after all somewhat Rundown.
    Shalom.

  4. I did not see that ending coming.

    When I first read this, I thought the grandpa wanted to tear the barn down because it was unsafe for the children to play in, and that they’d fallen somewhere and died while they were having the conversation . . . and their bones were found in the morning. I guess if they’d just died, though, there’d be more than bones. I do like that the story can be read in several ways, though.

    My favorite part of this was the well-done dialect.

    • thanks very much. i usually get compliments for dialogue, which i think is my strength and an effective way of packing a lot into 100 words. and thanks for reading.

  5. A little ghostly chatter. Fun. I hate to say I saw it coming…but I did. I still adore this bit of fiction. Nicely written. Unfortunately, I’ve heard that any work/home improvement projects of that nature can seriously kick up the spectral activity. Grandpa may end up with more than he bargained for.

    • if you saw it coming, then you’re a careful reader, and that’s a good thing. i appreciate your comments, and thanks very much for reading. and yes, disturbing a home can sometimes disturb unseen guests.

  6. great dialogue, spot on. I was there, early 20th century, seeing the characters in their period clothing. Didn’t expect bones. kind of caught me off guard as I was humming along in story. twists do that you know.

  7. excellent story.. kinda saw it coming then it disturbed me how dark my mind got.lol but for some reason you still managed to surprise, with the bones there! when i played the scene in my mind, it was reeaaaally haunting. amazing work!

    • i don’t think they were shot, but also, some farms are faaaar away. or, are you making a play about the guy in south africa? either way, thanks for reading.

  8. Not quite as dark as I thought you were going to be Mr Rich. I enjoyed the tale of the ghosts in the barn. Great dialogue, but then I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you.
    Like the new photo by the way
    Dee

    • yeah, not as dark, no death at the moment but it happened years before. thanks very much about the dialogue and the very kind words, and on the picture too. decided to do something different. and thanks very much for reading.

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