New Year’s Resolution? Okay, I’m listening. I mean, I agree there are a number of things that need work, and – What’s that? Me? Oh no no. Someone’s got that backwards. I don’t need to resolve to do anything. However, here are that need to be resolved not BY me but FOR me. It’s probably nothing original, only a handful of things that are just plain wrong, have worn me out thinking about them, and things for which I want answers or action before this new year is up.
1. The Scarecrow Gets a Brain
How many times have you seen this movie, and thus, this clip?
Now, how many of you like math? Yeah, didn’t think so. If you’re like me – a math geek – you might notice something wrong in that video clip. What Scarecrow states is not the Pythagorean Theorem. When he says “isosceles triangle” he should have said “right triangle.” And when he says “any two sides,” he really should have said “the two shorter sides.” What he actually said was worthless and equal to nothing. It greatly bothers me that the producers of such a noteworthy film did not make enough of an effort to get it right. It also bothers me that nobody watching the production was able to realize the mistake. And, with all the capabilities of colorization and dubbing, why not find a way to fix it?
2. “This Girl is Confused”
Know this song? Good song, right?
When I’m driving with my daughter, she often plays a song that’s rather annoying. You’ve probably heard “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys. I’ve got nothing against Ms. Keys, but her lyrics need to be examined a little more closely, two lines to be specific. When referring to said female who has either suffered or commanded to be an incendiary victim, Ms. Keys sings She’s got her feet on the ground, which is a simile referring to one who has an above-average intelligence, approaches things firmly and with control, and is dependable and lives up to commitments. Only a few seconds later, referring to the same woman, Ms. Keys sings She’s got her head in the clouds. This phrase basically is used to refer to someone who may have trouble facing reality, a dreamer, and someone who doesn’t have a proper perspective of the immediate world around them.
WTF? How do you refer to the same person with completely opposite descriptions? I can’t tell you how greatly this annoys me not just because it is plain wrong but also because my kid, and millions of others, makes herself look like an idiot when she sings these words. Ms. Keys, you’re fabulous, you really are, but when you write a song, please do a little more than just string some catch phrases together.
3. “The First Woman ________…”
Look at the first damn sentence of this story:
History was made in Park City, Utah, on Sunday afternoon, as the U.S. Olympic team sent its first ever woman ski jumper to the Winter Olympic games.
If I’m talking to my brother, who is not very smart, and he says “woman ski jumper,” I can usually forgive that, but I can’t forgive a journalist who makes that mistake. “Woman” is a noun, not an adjective. It should be “female ski jumper.” Female is an adjective that should be used to describe the ski jumper. This is not the first time I have seen this mistake. I recently browsed through a book about Elizabeth Blackwell, who was “the first woman doctor,” according to the book. Another writer who doesn’t know how to write. If an annoying man like me is bothered by this, I can’t imagine how women feel. Probably feel.
4. The Undefined Rules of Movie Magic
I’m sure there will be a fanboy out there who will explain this, but there are a handful of things within the world of Harry Potter that don’t make sense. What bothers me the most is something about the Weasley family, specifically their clothing. They are characterized as simple people without great resources because their father just doesn’t make a great deal of money, as opposed to the Malfoy family who seem to be rather wealthy. Why can’t they just use magic and give themselves better clothes? I don’t want to hear that their pride causes them to live by the means they have. That’s stupid.
And I don’t want to hear that magic can’t be used for personal gain because Voldemort was known to cast more than just a few spells in some very selfish directions. Also, the Weasley’s used magic for things like cooking and cleaning, which is kind of like personal gain because that’s something you’d pay a servant to do. So if you’re finding a way to save money, then it’s kind of like getting money that you would have spent for what you didn’t spend it on. It. Something like that.
5. Brutally honest?
The person who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more. – Richard J. Needham
I have not yet figured out why so many people seem to celebrate themselves for what they call being “brutally honest.” They have convinced themselves that there is something positive about expressing an opinion attached to an insult. There might be two women together, one trying on a new dress, and the other might say, “It makes you look fat. Just being honest.” No – you’re just being stupid.
I have also seen situations in which two people are getting to know each other, talking about themselves, and one will say, “I’m kind of brutally honest.” And what they’re trying to suggest is that they will be purely honest, even if it is not something you want to hear or something negative. They think you’re going to be impressed by that description of themselves, and if you might say, “Hey, this is a quality person whose thoughts and opinions I can certainly trust.”
However, the reality is, what they’re really saying is:
I’m an asshole. I have poor judgment. I’m also a bully, and I like to intimidate people by slamming them with negatives in order to put them down and make myself feel better at the same time. Really, I have self-esteem issues, and I overcompensate by trashing the self esteem of others.
These people also believe that if they start or finish a rude comment with the right opening phrase, they can say anything they want:
“I’m just saying…” “…I’m just asking.”
“Not for nothing…” “To be honest…”
Coming soon – 5 more things in need of “resolution.”