- where the jobs have gone

October 30, 2011

Pretend you’re a business owner.  What’s your job?  Make money.  How do you make money?  Spending less than you bring in.  The less you spend, the more you make.  Duh.

What are your biggest expenditures?  Your location, your supplies, and your people.  If you go cheap on location, you could lose business.  If you go cheap on supplies, you could lose quality, thus losing business.  If you go cheap on people…?

We’ve been in a startling financial crisis for too many years, and we’ve found too many things to blame.  The war.  Wars.  All three of them.  Bush’s tax cuts for the rich.  Obamacare, which didn’t come along until well after.  Wall Street.  Mortgage lenders.  Bad investments.  Goldman Sachs.  They’re probably all guilty in some way, but there’s one area of blame I haven’t heard from anyone yet.  The Bosses.

We have record unemployment.  Why?  People are being fired.  Why?  Because the Boss isn’t making enough money?  Why not?  Not enough people are spending money.  Why not?  Because we have record unemployment.  Why?  Sheesh.

Expenditures.  A company’s most important expenditure is people.  Why?  Because we are real.  We think, we do, we did, we will be, we can be, and we are.

One day, there was a company somewhere that had about twenty employees.  One day, three were out.  On that day, the boss saved 15% of what would have normally been paid to those twenty hourly workers, but there was no loss of 15% of production.  The boss told the remaining 85% that today’s work must be done, and the rest of the workers were going to have to pitch in and pick up the slack.  They did.  At the end of the day, 100% was done for only 85% of the pay. 

The Boss looked over the days plus/minus and realized it was a good day.  He realized it was a day he wanted to have happen again.  However, for that to happen again, he needed two things:  1. To fire three people, and 2. To motivate the other seventeen to continue to pitch in and pick up the slack.  However, what if they didn’t?  He could be in trouble.

He announced to the twenty employees that “times were tough” and he would have to let three people go.  He wasn’t sure which three, but he warned them, apologetically, that it would happen.  And then he watched.  He watched those twenty bust their twenty asses to prove that they should not be one of the three, that they should be one of the seventeen.  The twenty worked hard, hard as hell.  They distanced themselves from each other.  They did extra, asked for more, and smiled through it all.  They said, “Yes, Sir,” and “No, Sir.”  They spent less time at lunch and worked through breaks, all to be seventeen and not three.

When the Boss decided on who were three, he picked up the phone.  He called three people, gave them the bad news from a distance, and told them they could pick up their things on Saturday, when the shop was closed and they wouldn’t have to face the others.  The Boss knew it would be a little embarrassing, and he was so kind to spare them.

On Monday, the seventeen had a lot of work to do.  The Boss had just gotten 120% of production from the twenty because the twenty were working extra hard to not be the three.  Now, there were 85% of the people trying to do 120% of the work.  The Boss expected that 120% was now going to be the new 100%, and he expected it to stay that way.  And he announced that if it didn’t stay that way, he would find a different seventeen who could make it stay that way. 

How did the seventeen did the new 100%?  Fear.  Fear of being not one of the seventeen.

This is where so many jobs have gone, but nobody wants to talk about that.  Is it legal?  Of course.  Is it right?  Depends if you’re one of the three, the seventeen, or the Boss.


obvious question 1: job cuts

January 27, 2009

there have been just a few too many job cuts recenty. bus boys, home depot, the healthcare industry, ibm, microsoft, ford, pfizer, gm, citigroup, the nba, mlb, and the list goes waaaay toooo on. but here’s my suspicion:

what if some of these job cuts aren’t necessary? what if some of these companies really don’t need to cut these jobs? what if some of these companies are saying to themselves, “hey. everyone else is laying off people. what if we laid off some people and just let everyone believe that it’s all because of the economy? sure. we can tell everyone that the whole job picture in general is mega-bleak, and we’re part of it too. so we can lay off people now and the rest of the country will just assume that we’re as fallible as everyone else. the general public will just believe that we had to make these cuts, just like all these other companies. if so, then of course nobody will hold it against us. right?”

today a guy in california shot his wife, his five children, and then himself, all because he and his wife were both fired or laid off. these are the real casualties. these are the people who are so embarassed by their financial situation that they will not allow their kids to suffer through it. i don’t care how bad the economy gets, it’s not an excuse to take the life of a child. if you want to take yourself off this planet because you’re feeling kind of silly, then go ahead. we’re already overpopulated, so everyone who leaves makes a little room for the next guy. but don’t you dare take your kids with you. the only reason you did that is because you don’t want your kids to grow up knowing what a wimp-ass, vanity-driven, ego-maniacal fool their father was. kill yourself, no problem. kill a child, i hope you burn somewhere. and you, dude who claimed your wife was a willing pawn in the plot – i doubt it. i’m certain that you didn’t want her surviving you and living with the embarassment of whom she was once married to.


unemployment

July 30, 2008

shhhh. the president doesn’t want you to know this, so don’t tell him i told you.

every month, the white house gets all giddy when the labor department gets ready to announce how many new jobs were created that month. however, there’s a problem: no matter what they say, they have no idea what the real numbers are. here’s why.

first, you must know how they get those numbers. you might think they can somehow collect the numbers from each state, total them up, and say, “hey, a million new jobs were created last month.” they want you to believe that, but it’s not how it works.

each month, a certain number of people are on the unemployment roles. each month, some of those people have used up their unemployment benefits, so they’re removed from the role. for the white house, this is a good thing for two reasons. first, it means those people are no longer getting money from the government. second, it allows the government to pretend that those people have now gotten a job, which is how they come up with the number of new jobs.

so next month, if the white house announces that 500,000 new jobs were created, you’ll know that the truth is really that 500,000 people are no longer eligible for unemployment. yes, it’s true that some of those people actually did get jobs, which would be great. but too many of them didn’t.

and you know how sometimes congress calls for an extension of unemployment benefits, and the white house always vetoes it? yes, you guessed it. they veto the extension because it means that more people will stay on unemployment, thus taking away some numbers from the total new jobs created that weren’t really new jobs anyway.

also, about a month or two ago, the president had to answer as to why the unemployment numbers had increased. he said it was because colleges had just held their graduations and there were a great many new graduates trying to crack into the job scene. unfortunately, that’s not possible, and again president bush shows his ignorance of reality. you can’t collect unemployment unless you’ve been working for roughly a year, give or take a few months. if these people just graduated college, then they haven’t been working. and if they haven’t been working, they’re not eligible for unemployment benefits. therefore, it’s impossible for the rise in unemployment to have been caused by college graduates.

way to go, idiot.


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