Friday Fictioneers – 5/27 : The Offering

Some comments at the end


The Offering

She gazed up, a hazy smile

one only has when caught

somewhere between day and night.

Her closing eyes said…  

Come.  Play with me.

Dance with my arms, taste my legs.

I’m here for your pleasure, your hunger.

Take me with your mouth, nibble, then bite.

Devour me, as I once devoured others like me.

Bring your friends, lovers, strangers.

Let them feed from me, learn from me.

Protect them, as I did not protect myself.

When another like me,

as I now lay invitingly,

He gazed up, a hazy smile

Fading eyes that said…

Come.  Play with me.

100 words

To me, good poetry is about two things at once – the literal and the figurative.  I prefer poetry to describe something real as well as something implicitly similar and/or parallel.

When I saw this image, it looked like artistic “road kill.”  I imagined the dying animal being feasted upon by flies and other scavengers, and I imagined it telling them to please feed from its remains and continue the circle of life.  However, I also imagined someone who may have used drugs and continued some kind of unhealthy and dangerous lifestyle.  I imagined them being caught by addiction and succumbing to temptations and flirting with death.  I imagined them eventually being in the same position as whoever tempted them.  Then I imagined them continuing not a circle of life but a circle of death.

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13 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – 5/27 : The Offering

  1. I could feel the beast being a metaphor and yes those drugs could be it.. I think the idea is great, and it helped a lot with the notes. Personally I would have thrown in one word as a lead (like syringe).. but I think a poem could also be read in many ways.. I read it to be about the green eyed monster at first…

  2. I never profess to know about poetry, but I did get two layers to this one and I appreciated your notes about what those layers could be in more detail. Whatever – I liked the way the victim seems almost to welcome her demise

    • yes, she does welcome her demise because she hopes that other will both learn from her mistake and also feed on her remains, like animals do to each other. thanks for stopping by!

    • thanks very much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. sometimes i feel like an explanation is “cheating,” in that it goes well beyond 100 words. however, with poetry, i think it’s okay.

    • thanks very much. for me, a good poem has to be read twice because things will change during the course, and you’ll have to re-read and re-evaluate. thanks again.

  3. Life and death are all part of the cycle, right? I read this a few times, Rich, and I sensed two meanings even before I read your notes at the end. It’s playful, erotic and kind of disturbing. Nicely done.

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