#fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 11/02

Every Wednesday Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you.  Then post your work on your blog.  additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her Friday Fictioneers post.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  Give it a shot.  I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

 

The Glasses

“Sunglasses,” old woman wheezed, “$10.  Two for $15.”

“What about those?” Younger woman raising eyebrow.

“Where?”

“That you’re wearing.”

“No for sale,” old woman snapped.

“Why?”

“They’re mine.”  A glow behind the dark glasses.

“Give you $50.”

“I closed.”

The younger one noticed the glow, pulsing.

“$100.”

“Go away.”  Old woman locked cashbox.  Wrinkled hand motioned a frail boy, disassembled the tent, table swiftly.

“$200,” she offered.  The partially-hidden glow increased.  Boy paused.

“Finish!” she growled.  Boy continued nervously.

Husband approached, confused.  “$200?  You nuts?”

“I’m getting those glasses.”

“How?”

She headed for dark parking lot.  Waited near battered truck.

__________________________

100 words

74 thoughts on “#fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 11/02

  1. Hmmmm, what’s that all about? I think I might prefer not to have those glasses but maybe I’m not adventurous enough. You eked out a long story with those 100 words and leaving out every possible word. 🙂 Leaving out all the articles and other words also gave it a more edgy feel.

  2. Dear Rich,

    Had to laugh at your story because I know that girl. She’ll get them, too.

    Crisp and tight dialog. Good story. You got a lot of mileage from carefully chosen words.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • the battered truck is where the old woman and the frail boy are going. there’s something up with this old woman, and the younger one plans to find out.

  3. I love the different personalities and have known some characters like that. Interesting that the sunglasses started glowing when she came near them – maybe they were destined for each other after all.

  4. As I said before.. You are great at forcing me to fill the gaps. Maybe not in the way you intended, but I certainly have my opinion on what happened here… And even worse, what will happen on the parking lot.

    • i think – stress “think” – there’s something spookily attractive and obsessive about the glasses that has drawn the younger woman to them. and the older woman understands and knows when a “rival” is near. as for the parking lot – it won’t be pretty. thanks for your comments. i appreciate you reading.

  5. Losing all the extra words makes for a fast paced read. Very nice. The glow of the glasses – rather creepy. I don’t think we want to mess with that. Kind of like you don’t want to mess with Lemarchand’s box. Wonderful craftsmanship.

  6. I like the dialogue, the edgy urban way the piece is written. I get a sense of the old woman’s accent, too (not the precise type of accent, just that she has one). I think the young woman has an inkling about the “glow” and wants to get the seller’s glasses off her face, not to buy them but to see her catly eyes. I’m not confused at all, just very intrigued….

  7. Hello Rich. I’m new to the Fictioneers. Your flash had choppy pace and urgency. It was a good respite from my day-to-day reading. I am left wondering what is UP with those glasses!?

  8. The younger woman has a long wait–Her older holdout with the glowing eyes and magic sunglasses has to be leaving in a chauffeur-driven Rolls that she conjured up with a blink of her flrey pupils.

  9. Rich…I like this clipped format for a change. Reminds me of Elmore Leonard/Mickey Spillane gangster style/dialogue. Wouldn’t this girl be surprised to learn what’s really making the sunglasses glow. It’s not the glasses, but the daily prescription eye drops for her advancing glaucoma. lol. Rich…I have to admit…your comments now and then to others are comical and make me chuckle (it’s a compliment).

    • Thanks for a great compliment. Funny that you mention Elmore Leonard Because I have heard so much about him and tried to read him once, but just could not get through the book. No I take that back. I did read Mister majestyk all the way through. I wasn’t thrilled but perhaps I should give another 1 of his books a shot. Thanks again.

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