Dr. House, paging Dr. House

(reposted, and less relevant because the show has new characters than when this was written, but you still haven’t read it, so deal with it.)

I don’t watch much television, maybe only three shows: some sports, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I occasionally watch House, but only because someone else is watching it and I’m in the same room.  Although the character of Gregory House is very interesting, it still comes down to the show, and it’s a stupid show because every episode is the same 12-step program:
1. patient with something unusual gets brought into the hospital.
2. patient has symptoms that seem to be obviously something.
3. House makes a racial joke about Foreman
4. treatment begins, and House is wrong
5. new treatment, still wrong, patient now critical
6. House will flirt with Cameron, whose hair color changes every week
7. new treatment, still wrong, patient really critical
8. yet another treatment, still nothing, patient about to die
9. House wants to try a controversial treatment/operation and pesters his boss, Dr. Cuddy (usually sporting an inappropriately low-cut top, a mop of sad hair, and a nice ass depending on the camera angle) into approving the treatment/operation.  Before leaving her office with or without approval, House makes a comment that constitutes sexual harassment.
10. with or without permission, House orders the controversial treatment/operation even though the treatment/operation itself might kill the patient
11. just before the treatment/operation begins, House sees a random thing that causes him to realize what the problem really is.
12. House limps in to stop the treatment/operation and explain to the dying patient that he or she will not die and also that the patient is stupid in one way or another.
The other characters constantly make mention to the “fact” that House is never wrong, but that is far from correct.  If House were never wrong, then these patients wouldn’t be on death’s door so often, and they wouldn’t be saved by such randomness.  In one episode, it was a chess piece that triggered the realization. One of my favorites was when a woman was dying because of an irregularity that was connected to her period. House was talking to his boss and mentioned an “Aunt Flo.” So the word “Flo” made him think of “flow,” which made him think of menstrual bleeding. the writers were really hurting that week. My real favorite was when he was leering at a 16-year old girl as she walked away from him, and her red thong was visible above the waistline of her jeans. The color red made him think of Rocky Mountain Red Spotted Fever. So I guess if he weren’t staring at a teenagers ass, the patient would have died? And this man is a genius? Not in my world. In another episodea woman was about to have a brain operation until the random thing happened – which was a cat sitting on house’s computer. they even pointed it out this time.  If this were baseball, his batting average would be about .100 because it takes him about ten tries an episode before he finally gets it right.
And now, an unnecessary collection  of Jennifer Morrison’s various hair colors because she’s incredibly pretty and looks startlingly like an ex-girlfriend of mine, who also worked in a hospital and now works as a forensic investigator for the FBI.  So you can be sure I’m not saying any names.

44 thoughts on “Dr. House, paging Dr. House

      • I’m soooooooooooo happy because you let me do that . Thank you . Have great time please and take best care of yourself as well . Salam for now. =)

      • your intentions are to show me to others. would be foolish of me to say “no.” salam to you too. (if that’s the right way to say something in return)

      • and to show me as a good translator for translating a great story of a great writer too 😉 I ‘m happy for your trust .Translation is critical process ;i can twist your thoughts ,and you won’t even know it for you don’t speak arabic but you’re ” fully trust ” me that’s why I see you allowing me to translate your words as an honor,that’s why I’m so happy .And I didn’t mean itt when I said to show myself as a good translator,I want others who can speak only arabic rejoice in reading your stories and I mean that .

  1. I enjoyed this.

    My dad, who is a physician and teaches med students, hates this show. Hates it.

    Apparently many students come into his classes expecting to be the next “House.” And he has to tell them that House is a ridiculous show that is not only completely unrealistic but also routinely gives terrible examples of how to work with patients, make diagnoses and work as part of a staff.

      • HaHa. . . . even a “genius doctor” like House (being Shelock Holmes and the oncologist Dr Watson) still routinely requires a random thing or event to seed or trigger a solution, breakthrough or epiphany —- perhaps investigative medicine is much more than an “inexact science”, and more akin to aleatoric art.

    • I used to have a neighbour who was a medical student and who refused to watch House, as she could not stand his bedside manner. She was vehement that he should not be a doctor unless he could be much more polite and caring in the manner that she expects from any practising doctor.

  2. Girlfriend really DOES change her hair color often…how does she get away with that? Funny House analysis–true dat!

  3. House annoyed me for many reasons and while I have only watched a few, it does seem to follow the same plot each week. I dropped out after watching for the second time and finding too many medical inaccuracies to tolerate it with out throwing something at the TV. People hate it when I do that to their TV’s

  4. Oh my goodness, how I laughed at this. My son is a hugh fan of Hugh Laurie. We had heard how popular “House” was in the USA and thought well if all those people like it so much, we will give it a try. We bought two seasons straight off. After watching about four episodes, we were totally flummoxed – how can folks watch this samey plot over and over and over?

    • because americans like the expected. they are comfortable knowing pretty much what is going to happen. it prevents them from having to think too much.

      • We thought we were going bonkers. It was such a relief to read that wonderful post. I’m going to pass it on to a relative who is a dreadful hypochondriac. She will either love it or it will send her into a long depression.

      • Will has just read the post and he really enjoyed it. One of our all time television programmes is “Frasier” – we have watched it endless times over the years and had thought with “House” having such a big following might be as entertaining and witty as that – oh well.

      • It is, in fact, it is being aired again over here, at the moment. It is about four years since we last saw it and we are enjoying it so much again. I love the characters so much, it is as if they are part of the family. This is sad to say but when we get to the very end – I miss them – that is what I call excellent television.

  5. I enjoyed watching House for a short while – mainly because Jennifer Morrison and her magical hair would drift across my screen. The canned formula of the show was annoying. I also never thought of it as a medical show. It was a detective show set in a hospital – with House a poorly distilled amalgam of Holmes/Watson solving the weekly mystery. The “medical” trappings were obviously window dressing. Is it still on?

  6. I’ve tried watching this thing a few times but didn’t make it to the end of the episode. I HATE Hugh Laurie’s American accent. He sounds much better with his normal English one. Why do Americans keep hiring foreign actors, then make them fake American accents? Sound ridiculous to me.

  7. I loved the very first season of House. After that the formula just got tired. Why does content always have to be tied to the almighty dollar? -sigh- That was a rhetorical.

  8. It is SO nice to read about someone else who doesn’t like House! My friends all Love it and therefore shun me every time I speak against it :p

  9. FYI, and given that you have three or four photos of Jennifer Morrison in this post, she has moved on to play the good character Emma against the evil queen in the TV series “Once Upon A Time”.

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