The 2014 Academy Awards – Predictions

OscarsOlympics480 Yup.  Just like last year, letting you know right now who, what, why, and how (?) will win the most of the not-everything-exactly-but-most of the importantest categories in this year’s race to hold the gold.  The gold, naked, thin-lipped man who seems to have a pretty good grip one of those swords that pierced the olives in the five martinis your father needed to tolerate your whining when you were watching Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree but he wanted to watch football.  So – let’s get it on. After each category is the film or artist I predict will win followed a close 2nd place.  When I feel like it, I might provide my rationale for each selection.

Best Picture12

1. 12 Years a Slave

– Because it should win.

2. Dallas Buyers Club

– Because Hollywood likes gays

Best Actor in a Leading Role_i_2_matthew-mcconaughey-dallas-buyers-club

1. Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Because it’s his turn.

2. Chiwetel Ejiofor(12 Years a Slave)

 Because he deserves it.

Best Actress in a Leading Rolecate

1. Amy Adams (American Hustle) 

– Everyone talks about her like she’s something special

2. Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine) 

She actually is something special

Best Actor in a Supporting Roledbc-fp-082213-0318_wide-523535abed8cb4ec007ca4a92f201b47002419d8-s6-c30

1. Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club) 

Was fabulous

2.  Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave) 

Was in a slightly better movie

Best Actress in a Supporting RoleLupita12yas_2784544b

1. Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)

Always one “exotic” choice each year

2. Julia Roberts (August: Osage County)

Academy members still hard from Pretty Woman

Best Animated Feature8-27

1. Frozen

Because Disney owns ABC

2. The Wind Rises

Because the academy loves Asians

Best CinematographyAP_prisoners_jef_130920_16x9_608

1. Gravity

Did you see it?

2. Prisoners

I saw it.

Best Costume DesignChristian Bale;Bradley Cooper

1. American Hustle

Because people love the 70’s.

2. 12 Years a Slave

The 1870’s, not so much

Best DirectingGREAT

1. 12 Years a Slave

Because the Academy still misses the other Steve McQueen

2. The Wolf of Wall Street

– Because Scorsese is slightly easier to pronounce than CÚaron

Best Documentary Featurep1

1. 20 Feet from Stardom

Because it’s the only one starring anyone we actually know

Best Film EditingCaptain-Phillips

1. American Hustle

Anyone can splice a montage

2. Captain Phillips

Gotta work Tom Hanks in somewhere

Best Original Scorejohn-williams-300x224

1. The Book Thief

John Williams hasn’t won anything in 9 hours

2. Saving Mr. Banks

Remember?  Disney owns ABC

Best Original Songfrozen2-298x167

1. Let It Go

Made me want to be a snow princess

2. Ordinary Love

Only song with “love” in the title

Best Sound Editingdesolation-smaug

1. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Because it’s the LOTR kid brother

2. Lone Survivor

Because Hollywood supports our troops

Best Sound Mixing

I really don’t know the difference between this and the previous category

Best Visual EffectsGRAVITY

1. Gravity

Boy shorts = visual effect

2. Iron Man 3

Because my friends love superheroes

Best Adapted ScreenplayJAMES BOND -  QUANTUM OF SOLACE

1. Philomena

Because they dropped Judi Dench from James Bond

2. 12 Years a Slave

Because you feel guilty as shit after seeing it

Best Original Screenplayesq-her-xlg-39372742

1. Her

– Because Iphone users are insane

2. Nebraska

Because Bruce Dern is insane

17 thoughts on “The 2014 Academy Awards – Predictions

  1. I never know ahead of time what movies are being nominated. So in the docu, does that mean Inequality for All was not nominated? Such a shame. It’s really good (as in really-really-good). I’m not sure if I’ve seen Blue Jasmine yet or not (I should know this, but I’ve been catching a lot of great ones and tend to not always remember them). And 12 Years a Slave should win anything they’ve been nominated for. Gravity – I still don’t get it, other than she actually does look great when she’s floating around in the shuttle. Effects are ok. Not like wow-oh-my-fucking-god-did-you-see-that kind. But then again, we’re being wowed over and over, and it’s getting hard to beat the best ones.

    • the effects were great. at first, i loved gravity, but the more i thought about it afterward, the less i liked the movie as a whole. they ignored a few significant laws of physics, and that disturbed me a lot. you can’t make such a technical film and get that wrong. specifically, the part when clooney was drifting away when bullock had grabbed hold of the ship. the laws of physics in space would dictate that if bullock stops, clooney stops. it’s not as if he would keep falling because there is no falling where they are. that was too much “wrong” for me.

  2. Questo è Hollywood… non avendo la televisione vivo un po’ da extraterrestre… i buoni film sono nella videoteca, pronti ad essere visti dal mio laptop (Casablanca, Dottor Zivago, Cime tempestose ecc.)
    E’ impressionante i progressi tecnologici a cosa portano, ma in fondo questo è il tempo che scorre…
    Serena giornata 🙂 claudine

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