Someone will try to scam you. Send me $50 and I’ll tell you who.
Good time to make that confession to your spouse.
Relax. His/hers will be waaaaay worse.
Know what it means to “cauterize” a wound?
Better look it up. Quickly.
I’ve never seen fingernails ripped out before. Please share pics after.
Stay home from work today. Someone is going “postal.”
It’s all fun and games until someone gets a splintered needle lodged in one’s duodenum and the impending anxiety brings stroke-like symptoms, causing light headedness resulting in stumbling down a flight of steps and landing on poor, unsuspecting Mrs. Nelson from 3B.
It could happen.
Don’t move. Serious. Not a muscle. It’s right behi-
Allergic? To peanuts? Now you’re cured. Dig into those pistachios!
That crazy cat lady knows who killed JFK. Go ask her.
There will be a hitchhiker on the way home. Pick him up. All good.
You always wanted to be on the news. Better yet – “Breaking News!”
You can drink citric acid, so why not just plain acid?
Go for it!
See you next week!
Don’t forget the $50, Aries.
38 thoughts on “Your Weekend Horoscopes 2/2”
You nailed mine! I just got tagged in a photo and it was Southwest Airlines and it is spam! I can’t get it off my timeline on FB! It is like the Blob. Get it off! Please someone.. Help!!!!!!!!
Don’t worry. I changed my password…
You should go into the business.
It’s a good thing I live in a house, Mrs Nelson from 3B is safe from me. For now. 😉
I’m Virgo too and I I was thinking the same thing! We’d better watch out for splintered needles though, just in case…
ha! I will indeed watch for splintered needles. 🙂
Good idea, and thanks for reading.
Thanks for that warning about the scam artist.
“Aries: Someone will try to scam you. Send me $50 and I’ll tell you who.”
I’m an Aries; April fifteenth. But what if they’re trying to scam me for less than $50? Well, I better not take any chance, I’ve been scammed many times. So, like, is it okay with you if I give you my credit card number and personal ID number?
Thanks in advance.
I’m a Taurus. You were so right. I mean – TWELVE men?! Geez…
you should do this professionally, Brainsnorts.
i agree. thanks for reading.
thanks for reading. happy sunday.
Happy Sunday to you too! Superbowl party today
Acid, you say! I hear it converts to alkaline in the body anyway, riiight??
i don’t plan to find out. thanks for reading.
Its in the mail… hehehe
good idea. thanks for reading.
This should be your full-time job. These are do much better than what makes it into the papers.
thanks very much. i hope you didn’t die this week.
I don’t think I did. How would I know?
oops. i mean i hope your horoscope is only sickness or maiming, not death.
That’s very kind of you to say.
I work at it.
becoming a Sunday ritual for me. you’ve impressed my teenage son. Kudos, there aren’t many who do.
Thanks very much. Teaching middle school for 25 years probably gives me an advantage. I don’t know for how many weeks I can continue, but I will certainly try.
This time it’s the Virgo horoscope…how did they know????
It’s a little sketchy for the Libra….if you say so.
I am Aries…I bet if I think long enough I can figure it out for myself…
I’m thinking so too.
hahahahahaha good one for aquarious
thanks very much, and thanks for reading.
Damn, I moved. But I’m still here…. I think.
you look like you’re still here, so i’m thinking you’re right.
I laughed so hard my sides hurt now. Thank you, Sir. I needed a good laugh.
i’m glad i could help you laugh. have a great day.
Oh man. Someone’s trying to scam me? Seriously? I should have read this earlier. I don’t even have the $50. Probably spent it on the scam.
see that. it happens.