#fridayfictioneers via madison woods – 10/19

Every Wednesday Madison Woods posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you.  Then post your work on your blog.  additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her Friday Fictioneers post.

I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you.  Give it a shot.  I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way.  Not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.

The Delay

“Something wrong, Sheriff?” says the bus driver.

“This way, please.”  Walking.  “Got a call about a bomb.  Didn’t wanna alarm everyone.  Don’t need panic.  Just wanna get all passengers off so Deputy can search, okay?”

Driver chuckles.  “A bomb?  On a bus?”

Sheriff removes hat, wipes brow.  “I know, but when we get a call, we gotta take it seriously.  Never know, right?”

Checking watch, the driver exhales, peers down the road.  Thirty minutes.

“Deputy’s done,” says Sheriff.  “Sorry ‘bout the delay.”

The driver nods, salutes, drives off.

Ten miles along dark highway, oil refineries.  Driver reaches into his pocket.

__________________________

100 words

67 thoughts on “#fridayfictioneers via madison woods – 10/19

  1. Rich, you never fail to amaze me. That’s why I love coming here week after week. Your characters are so real and the dialogue so easy and natural.You’re a great story teller.

  2. Hi Rich,
    Was this an eco-terrorist, a la Edward Abbey? Was he angry about high gas prices? The gulf oil spill? Innovative story with great dialog and an effective ending. Enjoy all the praise you’re getting for this one. Ron

    • thanks sir. not an eco terrorist or that well planned. was a driver upset with his life, his job, life’s downturns. wanted to go out big and with sympathy and hope it wouldn’t be tied to his doing.

  3. Well, if everything goes the way he hopes, he will, indeed, “go out big”–but it’s hard to believe he doesn’t want credit for what is intended to be a flamboyant exit. Good story and dialogue.

  4. Dear Rich,

    One of the many things I like about getting lost in your stories is how much bang for the buck I get. Great dialog, terse, tight, well paced and packed with explosive power. You didn’t need to detonate the bomb to keep us mesmerized, either. You just let us know it might exist and later, that it did. Great title, too.

    Thanks for visiting mine.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  5. Great story, good dialogue. I’ve only been on FF for a short time and I don’t have your experience, but I can see you like to use the minimum amount of words possible. Makes for a very clipped style, eg. “sheriff removes hat, wipes brow”. I would be tempted to have fewer, longer sentences. However, doing it the way you have makes the story very visual as the sentences written in the present tense come across like stage directions. Well done once again.

    • thanks dude. i don’t normally go present tense, but it allowed me to cut some words, and i strictly stick to 100. my opinion is we should go 100, that’s the challenge, but my opinion. thanks for reading.

  6. My gosh, how much you do in a hundred words! In case you don’t know, Readers Digest have a 100 word story competition on – ends in November. I think you would do great.

    (also, LOVE your ‘not featured on freshly pressed’ – ha ha!)

  7. Beautifully done. I always seem to get to reading pretty late. I’ve got to be more conscientious reading and commenting. Loved this take but didn’t get a sense of any travellers, maybe because I was so concentrated on the driver. He and the sheriff seemed very real.

    • i didn’t focus on the passengers other than to say that the sheriff didn’t want to alarm them because it was about the driver. thanks for reading. better late than never. i usually read them all friday night, but by now there’s probably a few more. i should go check.

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