Every Wednesday Madison Woods posts a picture prompt to challenge writers to create a 100-word story or poem or anything that works for you. Then post your work on your blog. additionally, on friday, you go back to her site and post a link to your blog entry in the comments on her Friday Fictioneers post.
I’m going to try to keep up with this, as should you. Give it a shot. I prefer to stick to 100 words, but she doesn’t mind either way. not everyone has the time to sit and write, revise, edit, revise, edit, etc. until getting it down to 100 and telling everything you want to tell.
“You sure?” Tom whispered. “Who?”
“Ann,” Sue answered. “She always freezes up around me.”
“Nah. He’s gotten over it.”
Embracing. “I’m so sorry, Babe. It’s time she learns to accept us.” He kissed her forehead.
Sue’s lips trembled. “Tomorrow’s our anniversary.”
His finger to his lips, then pointing to the doorway.
Two children tip-toed in.
“I’m serious,” said Ann, “I hear voices.”
“Again?” David whined. “Look. Nobody. See?”
“They’re here. I feel them.”
“Please, let it go.” David retreated, leaving Ann alone.
“Love you Mom, Dad.” Ann whispered hopefully.
“Love you too,” Mom hushed.
Ann gasped. Smiled. Acceptance.
I must have spent at least two hours crawling over this piece, one word at a time, revising, re-revising, rethinking word choices, and doing everything possible to make sure that the following explanation was not necessary. However, I don’t think i accomplished my goal, thus the need to explain. Oh well.
I’m not sure if it comes across well enough, but let me explain. This is supposed to seem like a husband talking to his new wife about how one of his kids is not accepting their marriage. Sue mentions how Ann “freezes up” around her but Dave is okay with her. However, what we learn at the end is that it’s not about a child who can’t accept her new mother. It’s a child who hasn’t accepted that her parents have died. And she refuses to accept because she can sense the parents presence in the house. But when she hears “Love you too,” then her sense is confirmed, and she can then accept that they’re gone.